Tag Archives: Humor

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

 

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2020/12/04/fibbing-friday-4th-december/

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1. What is a shoe horn?  … I’m tempted to say it’s a coastal bird, but really it’s a tiny device hidden inside fuzzy house slippers that makes a beeping noise when you walk.

2. Where will you find a grommet? … The only grommet I know is from a cartoon movie. I think he was a dog.

3. We may say ‘the tables have turned’, but what is a turntable? … A kitchen table that revolves like a lazy-susan.

4. How do you make a tea cosy? … A tea will get cosy if you set it by a fireplace.

5. What is a quaver? … The quaver is a ‘trick’ arrow, that when shot from the bow, it kind of wiggles back and forth to confuse the target.

6. Where will you find a plimsoll line? … Oh, the plimsoll line will always be found in a garden, as it keeps the rows straight.

7. What colour was The King’s New Clothes? … Tartan green & red for the holidays.

8. Why was Ethelred called The Unready? … It was a catchphrase used to promote the TV show, “I Love Lucy”. Even though Ethel was a blonde, and Lucy was a red-head, the producers decided to go a different way, because Ethelred never caught on as a popular name.

9. 007 has a licence to kill, but what would an 005 have a licence for? … 005 would have a license for cooking gourmet meals because he invented 5 spice powder.

10. What is a winklepicker? … I really do know what this is, but for my ‘lie’ I will say it is a make-up product used to erase wrinkles on the face.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

 

Fibbing Friday – Holiday Hijinks

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Fibbing Friday – Holiday Hijinks

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pcguyiv.wordpress.com/2020/11/27/fibbing-friday-november-27th-2020/

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  1. Why is it traditional to eat turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? (In the US, at least.)  …  Because all the chickens crossed the road & the Pilgrims couldn’t catch them, so had to settle for turkey.
  2. What is “Festivus”? … This is a nasty, infected sore that has festered and is full of pus. Ewww!
  3. Why does Hanukka (or Chanuka, if you prefer) last for eight days? … Because they are fun holidays and nobody wants the fun to end.
  4. Why does Kwanzaa last seven days? … Because that word has 7 letters.
  5. According to the song, there are twelve days of Christmas, so why do most people only observe Christmas for one day? … Mostly because their houses aren’t big enough to hold all the many characters mentioned in that song.
  6. Why does Canada have Thanksgiving in October? … They want to celebrate before the really cold weather gets there and they get snowed in.
  7. What is Childermas? … I believe this is the long standing rule that says you must have more children.
  8. In the US, why is the Friday after Thanksgiving known as “Black Friday”? … This big shopping day is called Black Friday because of this secret: If a shopper wears black clothes at the stores, only they will get a special discount on purchases.
  9. What is “Boxing Day”? … For real I think it is a sporting event.
  10. What is “Saturnalia”? … This is a day when the planet Saturn releases millions of aliens to come to Earth.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020  BS

Fibbing Friday – Funny Frauds

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Fibbing Friday – Funny Frauds

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2020/11/20/fibbing-friday-20th-november/

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1. What is Kapok?  … A Kapok is a little mouse like rodent.

2. Where will you find a kernel? … You can find a kernel being played in an orchestra. It’s a brass instrument.

3. If you didn’t know a door as a door, what would you call it? … I might call it a ‘swinger’.

“This Door Swings Both Ways”, by Herman’s Hermits

4. What’s the difference between a yolk and a yoke? … Well, yolk is a bright yellow paint color, and yoke is a country bumpkin person.

5. What does E R N I E do? …  The ERNIE is another word for ‘timeclock’ in the work place. It keeps tabs on how many hours you work and how much money you earn.

6. What is meant by sunny side up? … It means your front body is facing the sun when you are tanning. Then you flip over.

7. What could you wear on your head that would make people think you were awesome?  … A cat … people who wear a cat on their heads are the best kind.

8. What is meant by cattywampus? … You say this to let people know where the good fishing place is down in the swamps.

9. What is an erf? … An erf is one of those cute battery controlled little dogs that yip and turns flips.

10. What is a mouse potato? … This is when you leave a potato out to feed the cute little mouse at Christmas.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

 

Calendar Funnies – One Liner Wednesday

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Calendar Funnies – One Liner Wednesday

One-Liner Wednesday – Torture (without pain)

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What is a circuit board’s favorite snack?  … Computer Chips

Have you heard about the new broom?  … It’s sweeping the nation

I feel like I’m in Season 5 of my life and the writers are just making ridiculous stuff happen to keep things interesting

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

Fibbing Friday – Ten Tall Tales?

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Fibbing Friday – Ten Tall Tales? 

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pcguyiv.wordpress.com/2020/11/13/fibbing-friday-november-13th-2020/

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  1. What is the Battle of Little Big Horn better known as? … BOB – This was a contest – a battle of the bands – where the marching band challenged the stage band  in order to win a prize.
  2. Who wrote the Gettysburg Address? … It was the U S Postal Service who assigned numerical addresses to houses in each neighborhood. Gettysburg was one of the sub-divisions.
  3. Who said, “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”? … It was the advertising person for a chain of Homestyle Country Cooking restaurants, who came up with this slogan.
  4. What happened at the Bay of Pigs in April of 1961? … haha – this happened to be the first annual swine washing day in the bay. Everyone likes a clean pig.
  5. What does the Cold-War acronym, SALT stand for? … Stand Around Loitering Today
  6. What was Abraham Lincoln’s profession before entering into politics? … He was proficient in whittling wooden toys and invented Lincoln Logs.
  7. Why did George Washington refuse to run for a third term as President of the United States? … He was fed up with politics by then, and just wanted to spend his remaining years of life taking it easy.
  8. What are the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution better known as? … The pee-esses – P S – postscripts
  9. Who has the largest signature on the Declaration of Independence? … The one who used the regular size magic marker rather than the fine point.
  10. What is the significance of Plymouth Rock? … This rock was so sturdy, it begat the name of a fine line of automobiles that were large and sturdy, too.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

Fibbing Friday – British Bits

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Fibbing Friday – British Bits

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This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2020/11/06/fibbing-friday-6th-november/

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I have no idea what any of these question are about, so maybe these are real lies, maybe not? haha

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1. Who met for the first time at The Duck and Drake Inn in London on May 20th 1604? …  Ye olde poultry farmers association met here.

2. Why was the opening of Parliament delayed from July to November the following year?  … There was a powdered wig shortage. .

3. Who used the name John Johnson as an alias? … The president of a denim fabric manufacturing company They made blue jeans called John’s Jeans.

4. Why did the Gunpowder Plot fail? … Well, the fireworks extravaganza went up in smoke right before the display.

5. Who designed the iconic Guy Fawkes mask? …  A select, secret tribe in the jungles of the rain forest.

6. Why are the cellars of the Palace of Westminster inspected before Parliament opens? … To make sure there is enough imported wine for the festivities.

7. What do MacBeth and the Gunpowder Plot have in common? …  Oh, he was the pyrotechnic genius who created the fireworks designs.

8. Where will you find Guy Fawkes Island? … You’ll find that island off the coast of Africa in the never-never land of Zanzibar.

9. Who was on the throne at the time of the Gunpowder Plot? …  MacBeth was in the loo reading the newspaper at the time, so that’s why the fireworks fizzled out.

10. How did Guy Fawkes die? … The parliament deemed him a danger to the public, so sent him into outer space on a giant firework rocket and it exploded.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

 

Fibbing Friday – Halloweeny

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Fibbing Friday – Halloweeny

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This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pcguyiv.wordpress.com/2020/10/30/fibbing-friday-october-30th-2020/

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  1. What is a poltergeist? … A poltergeist is a type of tracking device to locate poultry called chickens.
  2. What supposedly happens if you look in the mirror and say, “Bloody Mary” three times? …  Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons cartoon will bring you a cocktail.
  3. What’s so unlucky about the number 13? … Nothing really – it’s a baker’s dozen so you actually get extra doughnuts!
  4. Why do banshees scream? … Banshees scream because they want ice cream.
  5. What happens to a vampire in daylight? … Modern vampires go to work and school just like everyone else. Their fangs only come out at night.
  6. A Nightmare on Elm Street wasn’t about a monster who could kill people in their dreams. What was it about? … Oh gosh – that was when the nasty bagworms made huge webs in the Elm trees here in town.
  7. Who did Norman Bates dress up as in the movie, Psycho? … He’d dress in his McDonald’s uniform for his job as Ronald the clown.
  8. The Amityville Horror wasn’t about a haunted house. What was it about? … It was the story of how house flippers and real estate people sell houses.
  9. What are the three witches doing at the beginning of MacBeth? … Performing at a Karaoke bar.
  10. What classic monster lives under the Paris Opera House?  … They may be small, but those termites are dangerous.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

Fibbing Friday -By the Numbers

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Fibbing Friday – By the Numbers

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This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2020/10/23/fibbing-friday-23rd-october/

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1. What is a pince nez?  … Pince Nez was an ancient Egyptian prince who founded the practice of Zen meditation.

2. Who had the original telephone number Whitehall 1212? … The Pigeon Fanciers Organization first established this number. Click to view

3. Who reportedly lived at 221B Baker Street? … I believe that would have been Tammy Faye Baker and her husband Jim.

4. What happened in Pudding Lane in 1666? … An ice cream truck gave out free pudding pops to young and old, therefore the street was named for this. Click to view

5. Who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? … I’ve heard that there are a bunch of clowns that took over this resident some time ago. Click to view

6. What happened on the 8th August 1963? … The heat wave of 1963 began on this date. 100 degree temperatures lasted up until December.

7. Who lost their head on 16th October 1793? … That girl in the movie whose head kept spinning around until it was completely unscrewed.

8. What was in operation between April 3 1860 and October 24 1861 but failed due to bankruptcy? … Any store that tried to conduct business on a jinx corner. Every town has one, and every business sooner or later fails.

9. What is the significance of The Golden Hind? … This, by proclamation, rules that any dog born with a blonde back leg, shall be awarded 50 gold pieces.

10. Who was Spencer Perceval?  … He was the guy who invented the catalog called ‘Spencer’s Gifts’, that has thousands of silly products you can order.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2020 BS

31 Days of Halloween – Slime

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31 Days of Halloween – Slime

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Tourmaline .’s Halloween Challenge – Slime

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Monster, Slug, Snail, Cartoon, Green

HERE’S TO YA

His arms are green and slimy,

As up from the brine they rise.

His words are gurgled and rhyme-y,

And he looks to be a fairly big size.

I don’t know what to think,

While I’m frozen to the spot where I stand,

But I offer the creature a drink,

Given by my shaking hand.

As higher and higher he rose,

Up from the water so deep,

I saw two holes for his nose, and

His eyes began to weep.

He said ’twas the first time ever

Anyone tried to be nice to him.

You could have knocked me down with a feather, when

He said his name was Jim.

So, if ever you meet a stranger, an ogre of some reputation,

Don’t look at him in anger,

Just flow with the situation.

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~ funny photo from Pixabay~

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

©  2016 (2020) BS