Tag Archives: Humor

One Liner Wednesday – What’s Going On?

Standard

One Liner Wednesday – What’s Going On? 

One-Liner Wednesday – Hindsight

***

Me: What’s going on with Word Press now? Everything is messed up!

Word Press: Says nothing, but keeps messing things up with no explanation!

***

***

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

How to Waste Time – Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Instructions

Standard

How to Waste Time – Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Instructions

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 13/19

***

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “instructions.” Write instructions for anything you know how to do. As detailed or as rambling as you’d like. Enjoy!

***

For today’s SOCS, Linda has given us the instructions to write about instructions. This will be interesting to see.

If you’d like to join in, just click the above link for details, and also to see more entries about instructions. 🙂

***

I’m probably an expert in wasting time. I have plenty of time in a day, just like everyone does, but at the end of the day I’ve found I did nothing much.

If you’d like to know how to waste time too, here’s some instructions of the way I do that:

***

Get up early

make coffee  & feed cat

play computer games while you are waking up

look outside – it’s still dark

heat up coffee that has gotten cold already

Look outside – it’s light out now

Count cats

go in another room

forget why you came in there

go back to original room

flip through a jillion tv channels for something good

don’t find anything good

look out window at the birds

count cats again

feed & water cats

talk to cats

decide to listen to that song that you can’t get out of your head

find it  – listen to it

listen to several more songs

decide you need to move around some, so do some living room dancing

try to get the cat involved – she just stares at you

make up silly words to song for the cat – she just stares at you, then goes to sleep

go get some iced tea

think of something to write on blog

now you’re hungry – go to kitchen – maybe you’ll get an idea

take a photo of what you found to eat

look at the hundreds of photos you already have

look at the time – half the day is gone already

get a text from somebody – answer it

this takes awhile, as the conversation goes back & forth

look at time

get more iced tea

count cats – aww they are so cute … look at them being cute

wait – one of the cats aren’t there

worry about where that cat is

watch birds eat cat food

watch cats watching the bird eating their cat food – and they don’t care

check the weather on TV or phone – look outside to see if it matches what the TV or phone says – it doesn’t

try to keep your eyes open, because you got up so early you now need a nap

play some computer games to stay awake

remember you’re supposed to be doing a blog post

look at time – it’s late – time for bed

next day – repeat all the above

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

Feline Friday – Toys & Tunes

Standard

Feline Friday -Toys & Tunes

Feline Friday

***

Feline Friday – Toys &  Tunes

***

=^..^= meow

Happy Feline Friday!

These are a few of my grand-daughter’s stuffed cat toys.

  • Two orange tiger striped toy kitties with white faces
  • All white toy cat with blue eyes and pink ears
  • Gray and white toy cat – green eyes, and pink ears

***

***

Just happened across this little video and thought it was pretty cute! This guy has a bunch of stuffed toy cats lined up and is pressing on their backs. When he does that they play a tune. I’m thinking the tune is “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.  Pretty fun idea to do this, and sounds funny with the cats meowing the tune. 🙂

***

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

Little Devils

Standard
Rabbit, Wild Rabbit, Red, Bunny, Animal

image from pixabay

Little Devils

***

Here’s a short story I wrote way back in 2013, which pretty much no one saw.

***

LITTLE DEVILS

They skittered away from me. They always do, the little devils. They are fast. I sometimes catch one, but it’s not easy.

Laughing at my attempts, they form little armies, who taunt me. I curse at them. I get angry, and stomp my feet, then find another weapon in my arsenal, hoping to one day find one that will annihilate them for good.

I’ve learned that they are tricksters. They have many hiding places, and love to skitter out at me…a surprise attack, only to disappear again. To look at them, you’d think they are innocent of any evil intent towards me. I know better, now. I’ve come to believe they have some kind of rudimentary intelligence that aids them in their mission…to drive me crazy.

The ones I’ve captured are disposed of immediately, but it hardly matters. Multiplication of their species is rapid, and they don’t mourn the loss of their comrades.

Where do they come from? How do they get in here? I don’t invite them in; I’d never do that. They are sneaky. If ever you look into the dark recesses of this place, you may catch sight of a few, caught congregating…formulating their plans. I shake my head, knowing they’ll be gone, if I run to get my chosen weapon.

They’ve been around for centuries…their kind. I’m sure of it. They are a primitive sort, yet hardy…impossible to completely wipe off the face of the Earth. I’ve dissected a few, those I’ve been lucky enough to catch. They made no sound, as I pulled and prodded them apart…even as they crumbled into nothingness. I was surprised. Their bodies seemed to disintegrate…a bit of hair, a bit of fluff…as I made sure they returned to the dirty little hell they came from. I shudder at the remembrance of it. I don’t pull them apart for curiosity’s sake, anymore.

I chased one the other day, though. It was skittering across the floor…a tiny one this time. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of movement. I was lucky, as I had my weapon already in my hand. I smashed the bloodless bugger flat. The only witnesses were the others of it’s kind…already trapped, and on their way to their doom.

Suddenly, I sensed a slight movement, behind me. Whirling around, I dangled my latest victim in front of them. “Hah! Look at your future, you devils,” I sneered. Flinging the deceased into their midst, I scooped up the whole lot of them, before they could react. Their execution was at hand.

As today’s invaders were being disposed of, I heard their final, collective thought…”We’ll be back…”

I sighed, shaking my head, and thought…“Waging war on those little devil dust bunnies is a never ending job.”

***

Hope you enjoyed this bit of short fiction! Peace }I{

© 2013 BS

Flower Power Revisited – Flashback Post

Standard

 

Flower Power Revisited – Flashback Post

***

Fandango’s Friday Flashback — June 7

***

Fandango asked for a flashback post from us, so this is what I posted back then on this day.

***

FLOWER POWER?

Standard

FLOWER POWER?

 

Scene: Busy Classroom

Characters: Tommy, the student, and a solar powered flower

***

The teacher gave the students an assignment. They are quietly working at their desks. Tommy is looking around the room, thinking of something to write his essay about, and tapping his pencil on the desk.

Tap – Tap – Tap

FLOWER: Pssst, Tommy!

TOMMY: (looking toward the window sill) …Huh?

FLOWER: Don’t look so startled. It’s just me, the Flower. (nodding his flowery head) Yeah, I can talk.

TOMMY: (looks around the room to see if anyone is watching him) …But…how can you talk? You’re just a toy flower.

FLOWER: I’m a magic flower. Don’t worry about it.

TOMMY: What do you want?

FLOWER: I want you to write about me. You can make up some stuff, but make sure you mention I can only talk to you.

TOMMY: (smiling) Okay, but they won’t believe me. (starts writing on his paper)

FLOWER: (humming a little tune…waiting)

TOMMY: I’m finished writing. Can you read, too?

FLOWER: Nope, you will have to read it to me.

TOMMY: (reading) … Once upon a time there was a fake flower that could talk.

FLOWER: Fake? Fake? I’m as real as you are. Scratch that out.

TOMMY: Fine…(scratches through the word fake, then writes more words)

FLOWER: Well…are you done with my story?

TOMMY:  (writes ‘the end’ on his paper) …Okay, listen to this, Mr. Flower. “Once upon a time there was a toy flower that could talk to me, but only in this classroom. He was a pretty flower, but sorta weird. I think we’ll be friends forever.”

FLOWER: (smiling) I like it, Tommy! I think we’ll be friends forever, too.

TEACHER: (Looking over at Tommy) … “Tommy, stop your daydreaming, and get busy writing your paper. It has to be finished by the time the bell rings.”

TOMMY: (sighing) … “Yes ma’am.” (starts writing about a talking flower)

THE END

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace }i{

© 2017 BS

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

Question Fun – Time

Standard

Question Fun – Time

Question Fun – A Question of Time

***

Rory has asked some more fun questions…this time about Time. We can answer them any way we want! Thanks, Rory!

Click the above link to find out more.

***

An easy game, and more so if you love questions!  Each game has a topic, and then there are 12 questions relating to the topic – they can be visual, musical, personal, professional, topical, serious, thought provoking, fun, weird and even wacky – the questions will cover all fields and there is no structure to follow, so it could orderly one day and completely random the next time you play!

Today’s topic is ………….. A Question of Time

***

Small crystal clock – black background

***

How often do you actually deep think of time as a concept?

Only in my time machine, teleporting all over the place!

When was the last time that you sat down and tried to visualise the future of the planet by 50 years? [Where are we going to be in the year 2069? Explain your thoughts]

In the land of Never-Never…in the time of being in between times

What time is it right now as in the time you are answering this question and where abouts are you in the world?

It is 9:28 a.m. Central Time Texas USA … then I took a break and added some more to this post – now finished at 2:00 p.m.

Tel me about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone?

When I go to a doctor appointment…always stressful

Last time you had a really good time was … ?

This past Friday, going to yard sales & thrift stores

Quote Time!!! Display two excellent quotes on the subject of horology!

Music is art, and making watches is art, too. ~ J Balvin

Time and tide wait for no man.~ Geoffrey Chaucer

Our lives are but specks of dust falling through the fingers of time. Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. ~ Socrates

Let the good times roll … please provide me with three song titles that are about the topic of time in your eyes?

“Time of the Season” by the Zombies

“Let the Good Times Roll” by Shirley & Lee

“Time is on My Side” by the Rolling Stones

“Reelin’ In the Years” by Steely Dan

“Reelin’ In the Years”, by Steely Dan, was released as a single from their album, “Can’t Buy a Thrill”, in 1973. It was written by Walter Becker and Donald Fagen, and is on the ABC label.

***

***

“Let the Good Times Roll”, by Shirley and Lee, was released from their album, “Let the Good Times Roll”, in 1956. It was written by Shirley Goodman and Leonard Lee, and is on the Aladdin label.

Having a really good time means what in your world?

Going to yard sales & thrift stores with my daughter & grand-daughter

Time to ….. what?

Time to get this post about time done, because the next set of questions will be here so fast, I’m always late getting them done.

Which term do you prefer more ?

Of these on the list I’d prefer more wasted time, because if I’m wasting time, I’m probably having fun doing whatever it is.

Lost Time

Wasted Time

Time Spent

Time flies

What do the following mean? [However DO NOT ANSWER the correct way but answer the incorrect way!]

Huh? I’m supposed to give silly answers I guess?

Ahead of one’s time? … In the future everyone will have a clock implanted into their head so they’ll always be on time.

Behind the times? … When you are secretly spying on someone, and hiding behind the New York Times newspaper.

In the nick of time? … A really good movie starring Johnny Depp

A Race against time! … The TV show Amazing Race

Having the time of your life? … The playback of all the days of your life in a montage before you go to the light

Bide your time? … Taking bids/bets on how long you’ll live

Bad time for you? Oh, ‘bad time’, I first read this as ‘bed time’ hahaha

Having time on your hands? … Wearing a watch

All in good time? … All’s well that ends well

A Matter of time? … “I’m late, I’m late…” said the Mad Hatter, because time does matter to the Hatter!

Can you write a small story on the subject of Time and the Giraffe?

Once upon a time there was a giraffe who couldn’t tell time. He didn’t care, though, because what does he care about keeping time? His day began when the sun came up, he looked for food, tried not to be food for mean animals, and when the sun went down, he’d go to sleep. Every day was the same…all the time. The end.

***

My giraffe Red Velvet. He was named by a fellow blogger! 🙂 He is white with red spots.

***

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

Where’s Toto? – One Liner Wednesday

Standard

Where’s Toto? – One Liner Wednesday

 

One-Liner Wednesday – Reason #27 Why Sign Language is Our Friend

***

***

Here’s a couple of one liners I’ve said myself!  🙂

***

I admit, I get flustered when talking on the phone to businesses. Well, all the time talking. Anyway…here’s a couple strange things I’ve actually said before:

Do you know where Toto is?

Yeah…I’d been to the beauty salon getting my hair done, and lost my earrings. I have a pair that are of the Wizard of Oz dog, Toto. I thought maybe I’d taken them off there. At any rate I couldn’t find them.

The lady said, “What?”

I had to explain, and the conversation didn’t get much better. Turns out I found the Toto earrings in my purse, later on. 🙂

***

I loooovvvveee your pizza, but we don’t want it.

Umm-hmm…I’d ordered a pizza over the phone…so far so good. Then we changed our mind and I called them back real quick to cancel the order. They wanted to know why, was something wrong with it. I said no, I love your pizza, we just don’t want it…we changed our mind. 🙂

***

Have you ever made a mess of what you’re trying to say? It always comes out a jumble for me.

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

3 Things Challenge – Noodles High

Standard

3 Things Challenge – Noodles High

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2019/05/26/three-things-challenge-pl102/

***

These are the prompt words for today. Thanks so much for hosting this fun challenge, Paula! 🙂

Today’s prompt: bank, noodles, miracle

***

Noodles High School was named after the song, “Yankee Doodle”, which was an embarrassment in itself, but we learned to live with it. Yes, many jokes were made, most often by our own student body. It didn’t help that our school color was that fake orange that looked like mac ‘n cheese from a box.

Our cafeteria was notorious for serving Ramen noodles every day, as one of the lunch choices. I must admit, I liked them. It was a miracle everyone didn’t revolt, but we took it in stride.

I was the Senior Class Treasurer, Why I got elected, I don’t know, as I wasn’t good at keeping track of money, but hey…running the school bank gave me a little recognition, and got my picture in the yearbook.

All in all, I had a fun time during my years as a student at Noodles High…good ‘ol NHS.

Noodles High Noodles High

Long may we wave our banners

Noodles High Noodles High

We’re polite and mind our manners

***

fun fact: my sister went to a school they called Noodle High (the actual name was New Deal High)

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

 

Question Fun # 3 – Food

Standard

Question Fun # 3 – Food

Question Fun

***

Rory has asked some more fun questions…this time about food. We can answer them any way we want! Thanks, Rory!

Click the above link to find out more.

***

Today’s topic is ………….. Food Glorious Food

What is the best recipe containing whipped cream, strawberries and lashings of chocolate?

Banana Split

How many different colours of food can you think of on the top of your head without Googling the answers?

Black, Blue, Green, Yellow, Purple, Red, Orange, Brown, Beige,

I am [a] ____________CheF?

I am not a chef, but I can cook and bake. Except I do burn toast and bread of all kinds. It’s my signature dish, and everyone in my family knows it.

Really bad, practically hopeless

Not Bad, but awfully clumsy

About average ‘toast is a meal, right’

Above average, at least l don’t burn toast

Pretty damn good if l say so myself

Hot Kitchen Supremo and can master any dish blinfolded, with both arms tied behind my back and my feet in concrete boots

What is the one dish that no matter how hard you try you simply cannot master?

Candy making – I’ve tried, and it never turns out right

In your wise opinion, what are five main ingredients that could feed a family for a week with an assortments of recipes?

Hamburger meat, potatoes, peanut butter, jelly, green beans

Wine only meant for the drinking or the cooking?

Never use it for anything

What are three brilliant food quotes?

I’m on a seafood diet – I see food, I eat it

I eat to live, not live to eat

Have you eaten any of the following?

Snails, frogs legs, fugu, eyeballs, crispy tarantulas, squid, chocolate covered ants, jellied moose nose, huitlacoche, airag, Casu marzu, Century egg, Stargazey Pie, ostrich egg, alligator, locusts and if none of those what then is the wierdest food you have ever consumed and lived to write about it now?

I’ve had snails, frog legs, squid, none of the others. One weird meal we had was when my daughter was learning to cook. She made us a macaroni, prune & bubblegum casserole. We ate it…and lived! haha

What is umami?

Something Ross (of the TV show ‘Friends’) was going on about one time. He thought it was karate or something.

What colour is the French wine Beaujolais?

Purple?

What is a great musical track that always makes you think of food?

From which cactus is tequila made?

Tecate

Why on earth is blue cheese blue and red cheese red, how so?

They are nasty moldy lumps of grossness!

What is a pisang when it is at home with the family?

No idea

What is it about baked beans, why do they make you fart and why does asparagus make your pee smell, well ………….odd?

Chemical reaction in the guts

Okay, Pita when not meaning ‘Pain in the ass’ what does this Greek word really mean?

Pocket bread

Who loves Ben & Jerry ice cream? i am pretty sure l know of at least three of my readership who love this brand, so there should be no reason not to know the answer to this question?  Which one of the following is NOT one of their recipes?

Birthday Cake/BM’s One Love/Civet Coffeecrumbles/Half Baked/Caramel Chew Chew

Taking a guess…BM’s One Love? The only Ben & Jerry ice cream I’ve ever had was Cherry Garcia

What is Seitan when it is not terrorising the neighbourhood and What is Lupin if not a cousin of the werewolf?

Food on a stick, and a flower?

Of the following which is are the fermented food stuffs?

Sauerkraut/Kefir/Kombucha/Matcha 

All of them

Why does fish smell so fishy and so very fishy at that?

Because they are fish and they are scary and they are nasty. They probably are smelly to keep from getting eaten, but it doesn’t work.

***

cartoon-3082809_960_720

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS

Funny & Found – Pig Fat

Standard

Funny & Found – Pig Fat

***

Here are a couple more funny and found diary entries from little notebooks I bought at a yard sale. This one is a kid’s do it yourself Wimpy Kid diary. There were a few entries in there.

You can click photo to enlarge.

The first one is titled Inventions, and they wrote in big letters…

  • Jello is made out of pig fat
  • My sister is mean
  • Mom is nice

The second is titled Future, also big letters…

  • No more mack up (make up I think they meant)
  • No more phones
  • No m hip hop
  • No Phitens (I think they meant fighting)
  • No more boys

***

Red paperback book “Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do It Yourself Book”

***

Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2019 BS