Tag Archives: Funny

Joke Time – One Liner Wednesday

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Joke Time – One Liner Wednesday

https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/14/one-liner-wednesday-he-was-a-fun-guy/#respond

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What do you call a snake in a bakery? … A pie-thon

Why do hamburgers go to the gym? … To get better buns

How can you tell if a plant is a math plant? … By it’s square roots

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

Here are the new questions for Fibbing Friday. Thanks, Melanie! 🙂

https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.wordpress.com/2022/07/01/fibbin-friday-the-first-of-july-2022-%f0%9f%8c%9f%e2%9c%a8%f0%9f%8e%87%f0%9f%a7%a8/

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  1. What ‘quivered’ like a bowl full of jelly? … all the poor scared dogs and cats who hear fireworks over the weekend.
  2. What did the Old Woman in the Shoe treasure most of all? … silence – when her ‘old man’ took all the kids out to the park and supper.
  3. If those three mice were blind, how could they make it up the pendulum on that famous clock? … I think they must have those big ears to use sonar, or echolocation to find their way, like bats do.
  4. Did Lassie (a boy btw) ever get Timmy out of that darned well?  Clumsiest kid I ever heard of. … Lassie found where he was, so he ran home to bark bark bark until someone came to rescue Timmy.
  5. It was round and ripe and red like a cherry…what is it?  … a big ugly clown nose.
  6. What did Old McDonald find in his hayloft that he wasn’t expecting to see up there? … a flying pig
  7. Did Jack and Jill get whupped (whipped) for spilling that bucket of water? … No, because no one else was there to witness the mishap, and they weren’t telling.
  8. Was the moon really made of green cheese or was that kid just stoned a tiny bit? … What kid? I never heard of a kid telling lies like that.
  9. Did the fox ever figure out how to get those grapes (in Aesop’s fable?) … He did, but the grapes weren’t happy about it. They were the ‘Grapes of Wrath’.
  10. Did Chicken Little have a point when it ran around squawking about the sky falling? … Yes, Chicken Little had insider information. Too bad no one believed him, because when Sky Lab fell out of orbit it smashed them.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

Here are the new questions for Fibbing Friday. Thanks, Di! 🙂

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2022/06/24/fibbing-friday-24th-june/

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This week has no theme at all and just a mish mash of silly questions inviting you to give sillier answers.

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1. What is liquid gold?  … This is some kind of furniture polish from the old days.

2. What is housemaid’s knee? … This is a strap on knee pad that construction workers use so they won’t hurt their actual knee.

3. Why is the Eiffel Tower so named? … Because Eiffel sounds like waffle, and the tower kind of looks like a waffle, except really tall.

4. Can elephants swim? … Of course they can because their big ears act as flotation devices.

5. What is a pot hole? … This is a special place where you stash your ‘stuff’.

6. What is a woolly pulley? … A fuzzy worm who predicts the weather.

7. What is a tap washer? … A ‘smart’ laundry machine. You only have to tap it to get it to wash clothes.

8. Why do we have warts on our fingers but corns on our toes? … I don’t know but don’t want either.

9. What is a pendulum? … This is a woman who acts as a midwife, and she writes down her observations.

10. Where will you find a pupil and iris? … You”ll find both at a garden society class. Pupils learn about Iris flowers.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2022/05/27/fibbing-friday-27th-may/

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Thanks for the fun challenge, Di! 🙂

This week has a theme of complete the song title.

 

1. I’ve got you under………………………….. a circus tent for your dog & pony show

2. Hi ho silver…………………………………… bells & cockle shells

3. Anyone who had……………………………. that bad fish should go see your doctor as soon as possible

4. Me and You ………………………………… should be corrected to ‘you and I’

5. Hats off ………………………………………. in the house

6. Everyone’s gone ………………………….. to buy stuff at the yard sales

7. Every Man Must …………………………. have a job

8. You’ll never find another ……………… four leaf clover

9. He ain’t heavy ……………………………. because he’s a stuffed teddy bear

10. I’ll meet you at ……………………………. Starbucks

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Dried Out

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Dried Out

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Click to View Full Clipart Image

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Desiccated mummy meat

Doesn’t matter if you heat

It mostly, mainly tastes like feet

Never ever will it meet …

My expectations

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note ~ this poem comes about because of a microwave dinner (stir fried chicken & rice). I’ve tried it a few times, as it looks good, but the little chunks of chicken are really bad & dried out even though I follow the directions. So I call it desiccated mummy meat. Oh, and I don’t buy it any more!

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Guitarzan – Song Lyric Sunday – Musical Instruments

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Guitarzan – Song Lyric Sunday – Musical Instruments

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This week the theme is songs that feature a musical instrument of any kind.

Thanks to Jim Adams for hosting this musical challenge each week.

To join in today’s challenge, and also see other entries just click this link below:

https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/2022/03/12/musical-instruments/

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First song with a musical instrument I thought of. I guess I’m in the mood for being silly today for some reason.

This is actually the first time I’d seen the video, but remember the song well from way back then. This video is so funny, yet so bizarre!  I’ve liked Ray Stevens novelty songs for years, and he has a bunch of them.

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From a Wiki article:

“Gitarzan” is a novelty song released by Ray Stevens in 1969 about a character who lives in a jungle and forms a musical band with his female partner, Jane, and their pet monkey. The song features Tarzan‘s jungle calls, scat singing, and a funky boogie-woogie, as well as a quote from the song “Swinging on a Star“, with the line “Carrying moonbeams home in a jar” superimposed over an insistent G Major ostinato. The song reached #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 on 31 May 1969 and #10 in Canada in May 1969. It did best in New Zealand, where it reached #2.[1] The music and lyrics were written by Stevens with a title supplied by Bill Justis. Justis is officially credited as Bill Everette.

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“Guitarzan”, by Ray Stevens, can be found on his 1969 album of the same name. It was written by Ray Stevens and Bill Everette, and is on the Monument label.

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He’s free as the breeze
He’s always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s

He’s got a union card and he’s practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he’s gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chet’s guitar course C.O.D.
Makes A and E and he’s working on B
Dig C & W and R & B and even the chimpanzees agree
That one day soon he’ll be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it, get it

Gitarzan, he’s a guitar man
He’s all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan

He’s got a girl named Jane
With no last name
Kinda homely and plain
But he loves her just the same
‘Cause she kindles the flame
And it drives him insane
When he hears her say
She really does her thing
It’s her claim to fame
Come on sing one Jane
Baby, baby, oh baby

Baby, oh baby
(How about that, that’s it from Jane, yeah
(Thank you, folks)

They’ve got a pet monkey
He likes to get drunky and sing boogie woogie
And it sounds real funky
Come on, your turn boy
Sing one monkey, you go

(Let’s hear it for the monkey)

On Saturday night they need some excitement
Jane gets right and the monkey gets tight
And their voices unite
In the pale moonlight
And it sounds all right

Yeah, it’s dynamite, it’s out of sight
Let’s hear it right now
Baby, baby oh baby, baby
Shut up baby, I’m trying to sing
Baby
Get it, get it, get it, get it

Gitarzan, and his jungle band
They’re all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan (hey baby)

Gitarzan, and his jungle band
They’re all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan Writer/s: Bill Everette, Ray Stevens
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pcguyiv.wordpress.com/2022/03/11/fibbing-friday-march-11th-2022/

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  1. What is Mick Jagger known for?  … He’s known as the spokesperson for tight pants.
  2. What do Ronnie Milsap and Stevie Wonder have in common? … They both look good wearing sunglasses.
  3. What was the rock musical, Tommy really about? … It was a documentary about finding geodes, and cool music.
  4. What was Liberace’s claim to fame? … His love for sparkly tuxedos.
  5. Why were bubbles such a big part of The Lawrence Welk Show? … His show was filmed in a room next to a soap manufacturing business – bubbles came through the cracks in the walls.
  6. What exactly is chamber music? … This is piped in muzak in public toilets.
  7. What physical impairment did Ludwig van Beethoven suffer from? … ummm he was bald under his wig.
  8. What type of music was popular during the Big Band Era? … Folk songs were the rage back then.
  9. What is Weird Al Yankovic known for? … He favored outrageous costumes while performing songs.
  10. What did Sonny Bono do once he left the entertainment industry? … He bought a boat and sailed around the world.

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Square Odds 2022 – Smiley Eggs

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Square Odds 2022 – Smiley Eggs

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It’s time again for the Square Photo Challenge, hosted by Becky!

This month long challenge is to find all kinds of odd photos.

The first, and basically only rule is that the photo you post must be square sized!

It’s fun, so to play along and also to see other entries just click the link below!

Thanks, Becky! Looking forward to a fun month of squares. 🙂

https://beckybofwinchester.com/2022/02/01/the-square-odds/

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This photo is of an egg we were frying. It has a double yolk! Then the reflection in the pan looks like a smile, below the double yolk ‘eyes’. haha!

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Bloganuary # 7 – What Makes You Laugh

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Bloganuary # 7 – What Makes You Laugh

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What always makes me laugh is bloopers, especially printed in headlines, newsletters, signs, advertisements, etc. Also the mistakes made in movies or TV shows makes me laugh.

I’m pretty sure I make a lot myself when talking, by getting my words all mixed up. Talking to some business on the phone is one of the worst for me, and even if I try to order some fast food. It never fails that I mess it up so bad no one even knows what I’m talking about.

Then I get tickled at my own mess ups, and can’t stop laughing. Sometimes I read something wrong or the wrong way, and can’t make sense of what I’m seeing, but then figure it out and laugh about the mistake.

Oh, and those phone automatic word thing when you’re texting … with the word totally different from what you meant to type. Those are so funny most times.

Here’s an example of me seeing something wrong.

What the What? – Random Thoughts & Pics

One day I was unloading stuff from the grocery sack, and for some reason before I took this item out, I thought it was some kind of chocolate layered sponge cake dessert.

Then I looked closer and … it is a package of kitchen sponges! This got me laughing for a long time. hahaha

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Here’s another blooper mistake I made that totally cracked me up!

We were at the store one day, waiting to check out at the counter. You know how they have all the tempting candies stacked up by the register? Well, I kept looking at one, and it spelled SpunoW. I couldn’t figure out what kind of candy it was. Then, I got a little tingle of excitement, because I was thinking, yay, a new kind to try. Maybe it is made of marshmallow fluff or something. I finally picked it up to see. To my surprise, the package was turned upside down.  When I turned it right side up, it spelled the name of a regular candy I’ve seen many times. (it was in a different, larger package though).

So, turn the word SpunoW around and you get Mounds! haha I couldn’t stop giggling. 🙂

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300px-candy-mounds-wrapper-small

photo found on Wikipedia

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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2022 BS

Fibbing Friday

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Fibbing Friday

This weekly challenge presents some questions that we are to give wrong answer to. It’s all in fun.

To join in this weekly challenge, and see other entries, just click the link below:

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2021/12/24/fibbing-friday-christmas-eve-2021/

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What did the Three Wise Men bring as gifts to the babe in the stables? … Diapers, a baby rattle, and a teething ring

2. Band Aid had a Number One hit with the same record 3 times. What was it? … Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

3. Why is Rudolph’s nose red? … He forgot to wear his glasses and bumped into a wall

4. Who was Santa’s Little Helper? … The tooth fairy

5. What will you find on Quality Street? … A dairy farm

6. What is egg nog? … A knitted toboggan hat to keep your egg-shaped noggin warm

7. Who is Saint Nick? … A crow – this is the patron saint of theives

8. Where is Christmas Island? … In the kitchen. It’s the stand alone counter where all the fancy holiday food is laid out in a buffet style

9. What does Feliz Navidad mean? ,,, The cartoon adventures of Feliz, the Navy cat.

10. What is a gobbler? … An old fashioned dessert made of pastry and fruit, baked in the oven
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Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️

© 2021 BS