What ‘quivered’ like a bowl full of jelly? … all the poor scared dogs and cats who hear fireworks over the weekend.
What did the Old Woman in the Shoe treasure most of all? … silence – when her ‘old man’ took all the kids out to the park and supper.
If those three mice were blind, how could they make it up the pendulum on that famous clock? … I think they must have those big ears to use sonar, or echolocation to find their way, like bats do.
Did Lassie (a boy btw) ever get Timmy out of that darned well? Clumsiest kid I ever heard of. … Lassie found where he was, so he ran home to bark bark bark until someone came to rescue Timmy.
It was round and ripe and red like a cherry…what is it? … a big ugly clown nose.
What did Old McDonald find in his hayloft that he wasn’t expecting to see up there? … a flying pig
Did Jack and Jill get whupped (whipped) for spilling that bucket of water? … No, because no one else was there to witness the mishap, and they weren’t telling.
Was the moon really made of green cheese or was that kid just stoned a tiny bit? … What kid? I never heard of a kid telling lies like that.
Did the fox ever figure out how to get those grapes (in Aesop’s fable?) … He did, but the grapes weren’t happy about it. They were the ‘Grapes of Wrath’.
Did Chicken Little have a point when it ran around squawking about the sky falling? … Yes, Chicken Little had insider information. Too bad no one believed him, because when Sky Lab fell out of orbit it smashed them.
note ~ this poem comes about because of a microwave dinner (stir fried chicken & rice). I’ve tried it a few times, as it looks good, but the little chunks of chicken are really bad & dried out even though I follow the directions. So I call it desiccated mummy meat. Oh, and I don’t buy it any more!
First song with a musical instrument I thought of. I guess I’m in the mood for being silly today for some reason.
This is actually the first time I’d seen the video, but remember the song well from way back then. This video is so funny, yet so bizarre! I’ve liked Ray Stevens novelty songs for years, and he has a bunch of them.
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From a Wiki article:
“Gitarzan” is a novelty song released by Ray Stevens in 1969 about a character who lives in a jungle and forms a musical band with his female partner, Jane, and their pet monkey. The song features Tarzan‘s jungle calls, scat singing, and a funky boogie-woogie, as well as a quote from the song “Swinging on a Star“, with the line “Carrying moonbeams home in a jar” superimposed over an insistent G Major ostinato. The song reached #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 on 31 May 1969 and #10 in Canada in May 1969. It did best in New Zealand, where it reached #2.[1] The music and lyrics were written by Stevens with a title supplied by Bill Justis. Justis is officially credited as Bill Everette.
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“Guitarzan”, by Ray Stevens, can be found on his 1969 album of the same name. It was written by Ray Stevens and Bill Everette, and is on the Monument label.
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He’s free as the breeze
He’s always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s
He’s got a union card and he’s practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he’s gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chet’s guitar course C.O.D.
Makes A and E and he’s working on B
Dig C & W and R & B and even the chimpanzees agree
That one day soon he’ll be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Gitarzan, he’s a guitar man
He’s all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan
He’s got a girl named Jane
With no last name
Kinda homely and plain
But he loves her just the same
‘Cause she kindles the flame
And it drives him insane
When he hears her say
She really does her thing
It’s her claim to fame
Come on sing one Jane
Baby, baby, oh baby
Baby, oh baby
(How about that, that’s it from Jane, yeah
(Thank you, folks)
They’ve got a pet monkey
He likes to get drunky and sing boogie woogie
And it sounds real funky
Come on, your turn boy
Sing one monkey, you go
(Let’s hear it for the monkey)
On Saturday night they need some excitement
Jane gets right and the monkey gets tight
And their voices unite
In the pale moonlight
And it sounds all right
Yeah, it’s dynamite, it’s out of sight
Let’s hear it right now
Baby, baby oh baby, baby
Shut up baby, I’m trying to sing
Baby
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Gitarzan, and his jungle band
They’re all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan (hey baby)
Gitarzan, and his jungle band
They’re all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan Writer/s: Bill Everette, Ray Stevens
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
What is Mick Jagger known for? … He’s known as the spokesperson for tight pants.
What do Ronnie Milsap and Stevie Wonder have in common? … They both look good wearing sunglasses.
What was the rock musical, Tommy really about? … It was a documentary about finding geodes, and cool music.
What was Liberace’s claim to fame? … His love for sparkly tuxedos.
Why were bubbles such a big part of The Lawrence Welk Show? … His show was filmed in a room next to a soap manufacturing business – bubbles came through the cracks in the walls.
What exactly is chamber music? … This is piped in muzak in public toilets.
What physical impairment did Ludwig van Beethoven suffer from? … ummm he was bald under his wig.
What type of music was popular during the Big Band Era? … Folk songs were the rage back then.
What is Weird Al Yankovic known for? … He favored outrageous costumes while performing songs.
What did Sonny Bono do once he left the entertainment industry? … He bought a boat and sailed around the world.
teleportingweena 