Here it is again, my re-posting of a poem I wrote back in 2006. If you’ve seen it before, wonderful! If it is new to you, hope you enjoy the humor in this one! 🙂
‘Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the house
The paper was flying, the place was a mess.
Where’s the ribbon, where’s a box, where’s the tape, I don’t know –
And outside the window, it’s beginning to snow.
When I in my flurry, was running around, remembered “Oh-no, I have to go back to town!”
I have to mail packages, to those far away. How long will it take – a week or three days?
There’s munchies to buy, and a dinner to plan…and what, oh what, can I get for the “man”?
The pets all need feeding, and what could be more? The neighbors are here, with a knock at the door.
They come bringing cheese balls, and cookies galore.
I say thank you, then usher them out. Then I turn around and say with a shout, “I have to make gifts for those on our street!”
But, I’m about to collapse from the heat.
Get up and go, let’s do the day right. Put on some music, and candles to light.
A box of cards, my cup of coffee…should I eat that last piece of toffee?
Christmas ideas are really quite lofty, and really, at heart, I’m such a softie.
I’ll wrap a few gifts, then do some leg lifts; look at the snow – it’s now making drifts.
Put lots of presents in pretty paper, and think up some clues, for a Christmas caper.
Pull on some mittens, put on a scarf. If I hear one more carol, I’m going to barf.
I jump in the truck to go do my shopping; the stores are all crowded…the places are hopping.
On Target, and K-Mart, and Hastings, and Penny’s…Now United and Wal-Mart – can we stop at a Denny’s?
No – get it done – there’s no time to waste…I need to get home…hurry, hurry, make haste.
And then to the wondering eyes of those there, I manage to put some dye on my hair.
Some coffee, some milk, is all that I ask…to put my feet up, before my next task.
To watch my soap opera, would be a nice break. I think I’ll do that, and also eat cake.
I just settled down, and there goes the phone; I, of course don’t answer, I pretend I’m not home.
And now it’s time to do some more wrapping. We’ll put on some music – our feet will be tapping.
Merry Christmas to one, Merry Christmas to all…What’s that you say? Another trip to the mall?
I don’t think I want to…I don’t think I can…but, wait, I still need a gift for the ‘man’.
We must keep it even, we must keep it straight…I need another gift for my mate.
What shall it be, something big, or much smaller? As I walk the halls of the mall, I do holler.
I need to find a gift that is right – before I call it quits for the night.
So, I go to the mall, and the stores…and stand in long lines, before I get out the doors.
The aisles are all crowded, the cart’s in a jam…say “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, Ma’am.”
At first, we’re polite, when we go to town, but as frustration mounts, we’ll mow you down.
When there’s only one more shopping day…you better move fast, get outta my way.
Can’t find the right size, can’t find the right gift, then stop by the Starbucks to get a lift.
Give me caffeine right now, I say, got to get on with this frantic day.
Have a nice day, be jolly, be merry…if I hear it again, I’ll commit hara-kiri. It’s my ‘pleasure’ to serve you,
Uh-huh, yeah right…you probably make faces, as I pull out of sight.
Finally, finally get back home, where I just want to sit and moan.
My feet hurt, my back hurts, my nerves are all jangled…and how do you wrap a box that’s tri-angled?
Back at home, I start wrapping, all the critters are napping…
The oven is cooking the breads, how merry, but now I need another cranberry.
Merry Christmas to me…let’s trim the tree…and now the cats are OOC (out of control)
Happy to make your Christmas surprise, waiting for the bread to rise.
Christmas morning comes awfully early; no wonder everyone is so surly.
Buying spending – oh, what fun…we’ll all be glad when shopping is done.
The stockings are ready to hold all the goodies – maybe some candy or nice warm hoodies.
Light candles, fill stockings, with striped candy canes. Look out the window, hope it won’t rain.
Sweep the floor, wash the dishes, deck the halls with Christmas wishes.
There’s potatoes to mash, and take out the trash…as for me, I think I’m about to crash.
Finally, everything looks really pretty, Charlie (the tree) is ready, and still little bitty.
Now, take a picture, and go to our beds. I hope no one forgot to take their meds.
When morning comes, we’ll all get to say…we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Then, I look in the living-room, and what do I see? One of the cats is eating the tree. I holler and yell, but then, what does it
matter…I’ll just have to clean up the mess later.
She enjoys Christmas her way…I prefer mine…
So Merry Christmas to all…from our family to thine.
Just one more thing I’d like to say – Happy Holidays to all and Have a Wonderful Day!
First written on December 20, 2006
Thanks for visiting! Peace ☮️
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