WHEN I AM DONE

Standard
cemetery-395953__180

photo found on pixabay

WHEN I AM DONE

Look up at the night, the stars, the moon

Play me a song, or sing me a tune

Don’t look at the sun…

Planets will sing in harmony, in

Empathy, so gloriously

Don’t look at the sun…

When I am done

***

For dVerse Poets – Sevenling – Music

Poetry and Painting Embrace: We Can’t Forget Claudia Schoenfeld

Β© 2016 BS

Thanks for visiting! Peace }i{

28 responses »

  1. an interesting repetition line.
    the sun to blind you? the coolness of night as you slip away.
    also the last line could have multiple meanings. it could be sleep.
    or something much more final.

    • Thanks, Brian! You’re right, I was going more for that final sleep in the night. I do prefer the darkness of the night. Glad you enjoyed this, and I appreciate your visits here and your comments! πŸ™‚

  2. This is in a different format from the usual sevenling but it works so well, the two tercets not separated. Love the repetition in this too. We folk who love the night have such a unique perception of life and the night vs. the day. When I am done almost puts me in mind of those who have gone before us and left their last words.

  3. I love your sevenling, Barbara! There’s a feeling of gentle acceptance and softness in this and a quietness that is found in the night sky that is opposite of the light of the sun that might just be too harsh. Choose the gentle over the harsh…after I’m done. So beautiful.

    • Hi, Claudia! Yes I’ve heard the sounds the planets make, and it’s so pretty, and a bit strange. I love going to the planetarium. Haven’t been in awhile, but always interesting. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks, Bjorn. Hadn’t thought of eulogy, but now you mention it. I do like writing them, so I guess it just comes out whether I’m consciously meaning to or not. Glad you enjoyed this. πŸ™‚

    • Hi, Daisy! You know, you’re right! Hadn’t thought of it, but the sun does have a lot of ego. It’s also too bright and hot for me. I prefer the dark of night. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks, Sumana! The inevitable we all will face some day. There will be no sadness, only rejoicing from above, with the moon and stars bringing comfort, I believe. Glad you enjoyed this one. πŸ™‚

  4. Children of the night… loves your poem! It has a (forgive the cliche) slightly haunting cadence, a menacing ending. Or it has a comforting nighttime wrap-feel about it. It depends, I guess, on the mood of the reader as they head into the dark. Well done.

    • Thanks, Charley. Glad you enjoyed this one. It is funny how I can think of it one way, then another will say what they thought, and it may be completely different, but it gets us thinking in a new way. I like that it happens.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s